Review: The Dilemma by B.A. Paris

I have been out of the reading loop lately since having a baby, but I'm getting back into the swing of things. I was so excited to see that one of my favorite recently-discovered authors had come out with a few new books while I was in my reading slump. I was first introduced to B.A. Paris when I read her novel Behind Closed Doors and devoured it within hours. (You can read my review for that title here.) I just finished reading her latest work, The Dilemma, this morning. It is being marketed as suspense and women's fiction, which is very accurate, but I can honestly say I was not emotionally prepared for this novel.

Despite the odds, Livia and her husband Adam have survived the trials life throws at young couples and seemingly have made it out the other side without too many scars to show for it. A teenage pregnancy out of wedlock stole the chance for Livia to have her dream wedding, so to make up for this, she has spent almost half her life saving for an extravagant 40th birthday party. The novel takes place mostly on the day of the party, alternating the narration between Livia and Adam every hour or so. We are immediately made aware that Livia feels some guilt over a secret she's keeping from Adam involving their daughter, Marnie. She loves her daughter, but is relieved that she won't be able to make it to her party because she wants to enjoy her night before the secret changes their entire lives. 

Meanwhile, Adam and Marnie have a secret of their own. Marnie is in another country studying abroad and is planning on traveling home to surprise Livia during her birthday party. Unexpected complications arise and Adam is forced to decide whether or not to keep a monumental secret of his own. There's not really a correct answer to his particular dilemma, but he self-consciously analyzes all his options until he's sure he's doing the right thing. Wracked with guilt and fear for the future, Adam does his best to make it through the party which seems to last a lifetime. He knows nothing will be the same once it's all over and he no longer has the party as an excuse for keeping the awful truth from his wife.

I was actually surprised at how suspenseful this domestic drama turned out to be. For me, if there isn't a blade-wielding psychopath chasing someone down, it usually tends to drag on, but I could not stop reading. Paris did a great job at making the party c-r-a-w-l by at the pace of a tortoise on sedatives. It was frustrating at times how slowly the night was moving, but it seems obvious to me that the novel was written this way intentionally as a way of letting the reader feel the hell Adam was experiencing as each second slowly ticked by. The party itself serves as this larger-than-life character all on its own. On one hand, it celebrates the loyalty and resiliency this couple has demonstrated over the last few decades. But on the flip side, it is also this ominous bomb that is set to explode when its time is up, potentially shattering the lives of this family. 

I didn't anticipate really feeling much for the two protagonists, so I was in disbelief when I realized I was crying while reading the final chapters in the novel. That just never happens for me. I think maybe three books have made me cry in my entire life and they almost all had to do with animals. Paris knows how to paint a picture of grief in such a way that will have readers revisiting past heartaches as if they happened yesterday. I feel emotionally raw after reading this book and I think there's something to be said about writing that can do that.

My Rating: ★★★★★
At the time of this post, this title is set to be released on June 30, 2020.

*Thanks to St. Martin's Press and Netgalley for providing me with a digital ARC in exchange for an honest review!